I thought it would be a good idea to include a section where members can share stories. You can share your story, as many other members have, in the member forum. Stories of our feelings, emotions and experiences of going through life with pearly penile papules. The ups and downs, the heartaches and the pleasures. A chance to reflect on our past and present and look towards our future. A chance to share with each other and show we are not alone in what we are feeling and thinking. To show we are not alone.

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My Own Story

Hello! My name is Dennis. I was born in 1979 in Australia of Aussie/Filipino parents. I currently live in Sydney with my loving partner of 6 years. I decided to put this site together to help other guys that have found themselves in the same situation as me. NoMorePapules.com contains all the information that I needed... wanted... to know 11 years ago. I hope this insight in to my life and the information contained in other areas of this site helps you on your own journey...

My Teens

Thinking back my first memory of my pearly penile papules was when I was 15 years old. The typical time when young boys are thinking about sex and, for me, wanting my first sexual experience.
I think before this time I did not really notice them or did not really care about them. But now I did. I had these things on my dick and wanted to know what they were and more importantly I wanted them to be removed.

Gaining courage over a couple of weeks I made an appointment with a Doctor, a male doctor, to find out what these growths were.

I remember going to the doctor nervous as hell. Not really wanting to show my penis. The doctor put on plastic gloves and I tentatively pulled back my foreskin to show him the papules. He looked at them with this strange look on his face, like he was dumbfounded. I was right, he was not sure what they were and referred me to a Dermatologist.

I had one problem. The Dermatologist bill was going to be $150 and being 15 it was not something I had lying around. So, I had to tell my mum. I even showed it to her. Understanding my concern she gave me the money and off to the Dermatologist I went.

The Dermatologist knew what it was straight away. He opened a medical book and showed me pictures. It was Pearly Penile Papules. He said that typical line that I am sure we have all heard - "They are normal. Lots of guys have them." He was really nice about it all and I did feel reassured.
My next question was "How do I have them removed?". The answer - "They're normal. There is no treatment needed or available". I also asked him if those wart treatments would work (ie freezing them off), but he informed they would not. Now it was my turn to be dumbfounded. I could not believe that I had went to all this trouble without any doubt that they could be removed and at the final step I was disappointed.

I went through my teenage years afraid to have sex. Even afraid to get close to other people. I did not what anyone to find out about my "deformity" as I saw it. Looking back I definitely took the fact that I had pearly penile papules pretty hard.

Sex

It wasn't until I was 19 that I had my first sexual experience. And thank god they did not notice.
For the next three years I had sex with numerous partners. Making a conscious effort to choose partners that would not freak if they happen to see them. Picking people who I deemed were not superficial. These tended to be people a little older than me (and more accepting). I definitely by-passed the hip younger set. Once I got into the groove I just trusted my feelings about the person.
Most of the time it worked out for me. I developed numerous techniques to hide the papules. I tried to prevent them from going down on me by spending more time kissing or going down on them. If they did go down I tried to hold my foreskin up over the papules or tried to be rough and erratic so my cock did not slide across their tongue smoothly. I also tried to get to the fucking a lot quicker. Sometimes a lot quicker than I would have liked.

Sometimes the experience was not so nice. A few have literally taken off after running their tongue over the papules. I can remember the fear in the eyes. Like they had caught something terrible. These were very bad experiences. It left me with a strong feeling of rejection and guilty that I had "scared" my sexual partner. After these episodes I would retreat into myself and try to forget about them and sometimes try to forget about life.

I definitely would have had a lot more fun in my teenage years if I didn't have them. Instead I was very reserved. I also turned down a lot of people that I had "sparks" with, just because I was afraid of being rejected if they found out.

My Twenties

When I was 20 I visited another doctor for another issue and on noticing the papules he commented on a couple of things. One, that they were normal and two, that surgery to remove them would cause the formation of scar tissue that would not have the necessary elasticity for erections. The latter comment really disheartened me. If what the doctor said was true, I would rather the papules than no papules and scar tissue. For the next 5 years I chose to believe what the doctor had told me and I resigned myself to the fact that I would have pearly penile papules for the rest of my life.

During these years I went through some good times when I just accepted that I had pearly penile papules and I could not do anything about it. Occasionally, I would have very bad times where I just wanted them gone. It was during these times that I trawled the internet trying to find a cure and attempting ridiculous home remedies.

Once in a while you do hit on a good thing. Just after I turned 21 I met my current partner. We have been together for 6 years now. It has been great to be able to relax, but not completely, during sex knowing that my partner did not care about my pearly penile papules.

Unfortunately, even though my partner was comfortable with them, I still was not. It was me that had to live with them, not my partner. I could not even talk about them. I did not want to remind myself that they existed. But everyday I thought about them and everyday I looked at them wanting them to be gone. I thought if I just keep them to myself and not talk about them, then I could get through the day with a smile on my face.

My Struggles

Over the last few years I started to really hate the fact that I had pearly penile papules and not being able to do anything about them. I think this was heightened by my struggle with perfectionism, low self-esteem and low confidence. There were many times when I just did not want to leave the house. Sometimes for weeks on end. Scared of what people would say and think of me.

For me pearly penile papules had a bad association. I felt sort of like I was deformed. Like there was a huge weight on my shoulders. Like everyone was normal and perfect and if anyone found out about the papules I would be looked at in horror.

Now, I do not think this is a typical response for others that have pearly penile papules. I think my reaction was definitely extreme. The opposite end is a response to be admired. I once read on an Internet forum a poster whom embraced his pearly penile papules. He told all his friends about them and told the girls about them. Apparently the girls were interested enough to want to see them. He also carried a medical description in his wallet to show girls if they asked.

For me, I just wanted them gone. I could not imagine myself having that sort of attitude towards them. So, I came to the conclusion that I wanted my pearly penile papules gone. If I wasn't comfortable with it after 11 years I would never be comfortable with it. I decided that I wanted them removed, no matter what I had to go through.

Since my visit with the Dermatologist, I had tried many home remedies touted on internet support forums and ones I invented myself. Hoping that one of them would miraculously make them disappear. Needless to say none worked. Here is just a small list of some of my attempts:

• Toothpaste
• Betadine liquid & powder
• Mud mask
• Vitamin A and E
• Talcum powder (to keep area dry) 
• Water (to keep the area wet)
• Olive oil (to keep area moisturised)
• Changing diet to whole foods 
• Aloe Vera
• Not masturbating 
• Keeping my foreskin back
• Try to rip them off 
• Piercing them with hot needle
• Baby oil 
• Tea tree oil 
• Eucalyptus oil
• Lemon juice 
• Apple cider vinegar 
• Trying to cut the tips off
• Salt
• Epsom salts

...and the list goes on and on and on.... You name it and I have probably tried it. Nothing and I mean nothing works. Believe me, home remedies do not work. It is even not worth attempting.

Browsing the internet I have come across a couple of disturbing forum posts from people who have spend months tediously applying iodine to the area and stories of people using chlorine in an attempt to burn off the papules. Do not even attempt to try these methods. You will probably make matters even worse. You may even scar your penis.

I doubt these methods even actually work. In my search I have come across the same methods on different forums touting it as a cure for not only pearly penile papules but for sebaceous prominence. A totally different problem.

The Beginnings

Over the past year or so I googled every combination of words I could think of in relation to pearly penile papules. Trying to glean as much information as possible. Hoping to find a solution, a simple solution, to their removal. Something I could do in the privacy of my own home.

Unfortunately, it all seemed to be the same disappointing information. More and more ridiculous home remedies. So I gave up on the simple solution.

My next hope was a medical procedure done by a doctor. I came across one or two clinical reports providing possible medical procedures. The most promising seemed to be CO2 laser treatment as it was a fairly simple procedure.

I trawled through the internet trying to find reports, pictures, information, anything about how successful this method would be. I had many concerns - Would it scar my dick? Would the healing process be painful? Would the scar tissue inhibit performance afterward? The questions were endless.
Sadly, I could not find a thing. Occasionally, my hopes were lifted when a forum poster informed they were going to have laser treatment. But no one ever posted the results afterwards. There was even a story going around the forums that someone had the laser treatment done but was left with scarring that he was going to tattoo over to match the rest of his skin colour. It was very frustrating. I just wanted some positive information that would give me the courage to go through with the procedure.
Meanwhile, I was sending emails and letters to laser clinics and urologists around Australia, trying to find a doctor that would perform the procedure. Many of my letters/emails were never returned. The ones that did come back were disappointing. For some reason the doctors and laser clinics did not want to perform the procedure even though they had access to the skills and equipment. I was clueless to understand why.

Then in February 2006 I went to Thailand for a holiday. Their friendliness and culture really made an impression on me. Most noticeably, I was impressed by their professionalism and the quality of their services.

Back in Australia I started to do a little research on the internet about Thailand's "Medical Tourism". I read a few articles and also watched a couple of news stories on TV. Happy with what I was reading I then set about contacting the top two international hospitals in Thailand.

Two days after I had emailed both Pattaya-Bangkok International Hospital and Bangkok Nursing Hospital, I received a reply with positive news. Both had the facilities and the doctors to perform the procedure.

My Courage

It took me a couple of months to get the courage to go over and get the procedure done. During that time I had quit my job and started seeing a therapist to work through my perfectionism problems.
Talking through my problems seemed to give me confidence to do things that I always wanted to do. At the top of the list was getting my pearly penile papules removed. I knew Bangkok was my best opportunity. I had the free time and I had the money from a small payout from my job. After talking it through with my partner the day came where I was in the right frame of mind, so I jump at the chance. Without pausing I organised my trip and was off within the week. I made sure I did not have the time to change my mind. It was also comforting to know I was going to another country where I was anonymous and the people were extremely friendly, respectful and non judgmental.

My final act before heading off was to pick up and camera and take photos of my pearly penile papules. I decided to document my trip and my journey to have them removed. I wanted to help all the other guys on the forums that were also searching for answers and hopefully prevent some other guys going through the years of frustration that I went through.

The rest, as they say, is history. NoMorePapules.com was born to tell everyone of my journey.

Life after the removal

Having my pearly penile papules removed has been the greatest thing for my confidence and self esteem. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel less stressed and feel more comfortable knowing that they are no longer there.

I am still getting used to it all. Exploring the changes in myself and finding other things to occupy my mind and my time. I think this site and expressing my journey in writing, is the final step to letting me "heal".

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